Missing Dad...

Tonight I was going through some stuff that Bob and I stored over at Bob's brother's house when we moved out on our own six years ago. Every time we go over there we take a couple more boxes.

I sat there will a box of memories I had stored away, memories of my friends back home in California, Memories of high school, memories that were most important to me at the time. I came across an envelope that had "Dad" hand written on the front in my hand writing... I quickly slid my finger under the seal to open it and came across letters I had written to my dad when he was sick in the hospital with cancer right before he died. :( This envelope was given back to me by the staff of Charlton when he passed away, the nurse had collected them for me figuring I'd want to keep them.

I sat on the floor beside this old box... a box full of memories some happy, some sad, some painful and read these letters. I got choked up a bit... but at the same time I have been thinking about my dad a lot lately and I keep coming across "signs" that he's with me. It's the strangest thing. Every time I think of him... I see something he had or did or hear things like his favorite songs. For example my dad owned Allied (the moving Company) well, the branch in California and I was driving home from work and starting thinking about my dad and what do I turn my head to see... a big orange Allied truck beside me. It brought me comfort, it felt like it was my dad saying "I'm here with you"

Being pregnant with my first child I have been wishing my dad was here to meet his grand daughter, but sadly he's not here with us anymore. But my daughter will know her grandfather and her grandmother because we will tell her all about them.

I just miss my dad today...

What a busy holiday season...

I went out yesterday and did some more Christmas shopping! I picked up another awesome gift for Bob! I can't wait to give it to him, he's going to love it!! I have 2 piles in my dining room... Christmas gifts and baby gifts, I have gotten so many cute things from some people already for Josephine. Bob and I are going to put up the boarder in her room today. The room is really coming along, and once the baby shower happens then I can finish it up! :)

I feel that 2009 was a blessing... 2009 brought getting pregnant, finding myself, learning who my true friends are, happiness, and so much more. I would never look at 2009 in a negative light, But I am anxious for 2010... getting to meet my daughter with be my biggest blessing of the new year!! Not sure what my 2010 wish will be... since 2009 I wished to get pregnant and I got my wish and I am so very thankful.

Another positive note is that the settlement is FINALLY coming to an end. (thank goodness) we're now just waiting to hear about an amount and then it's over. We're hoping to build our dream house in 2010 ::crosses fingers:: but it's looking like it's going to happen and we're thrilled! We have been driving around looking at possible places to build in Swansea. We love Swansea, and want to raise our daughter and future children there too.

Work is great too! I got a bonus! Which is awesome! :) I didn't expect it... I was pulled aside and told that my hard work hasn't gone unnoticed and so I was getting a bonus! I was so excited! Plus on top of that we get a Christmas bonus too! I love my job. It's such a nice place to work. It's nice going to work every day and not coming home every day griping about it.

"You are always a valuable, worthwhile human being -- not because
anybody says so, not because you're successful, not because you make a
lot of money -- but because you decide to believe it and for no other
reason."

"Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were
your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed."

** "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." **

"Worthless people blame karma"

Tis' The Season...

I went out shopping yesterday on "black Friday" It was a lot of fun. I shopped from 3am to about 1pm and I got 90% of my Christmas shopping done, which is awesome! And I came home with money, which is good too. I hit a ton of great deals! I can't wait till Christmas. Bob and I are putting up our Christmas tree this weekend, which is always fun.

My doctors appointment was good! :) My next appointment is Christmas Eve in the morning. After That appointment, I start going twice a month to the doctor (starting in Jan.) I can't believe that I'm coming to the end of this pregnancy... I can't wait to meet Josephine, I am so anxious. Mom, family and friends are planning my baby shower... All I know is that it is going to be in January, It'll be fun. :) And Bob and I do our all day birthing class in Feb. at the hospital. Sara & Dan are in the same class as Bob and I... we're looking forward to doing the class together. It's fun having a friend who is pregnant too and who is due the month, it's made this experience nice. Because I have had someone to talk to about it and relate to and someone who is on the same page. :)

Bob and I are also looking into going to California with Josephine possibly this summer to see family and friends. They are all anxious to meet our daughter and like my mom said there is NO reason why you can't travel with a baby... since my mom did it with my brother and I since we were born. Traveling will be a BIG part of Josephine's life.

The changes I have made in my life has brought peace to me. Life is better, there is no more judgment no more negative energy around me. I go out with other friends without the fear of someone else being mad at me for it. The friends I hang out with appreciate me and respect me and actually care about me. It's true what they say... everything happens for a reason and I'm so thankful that my life is now surrounded with people who are real. And I couldn't be happier. Life is great and I am truly happy. The stress is no longer and I would never look back and I would never make the same mistake again. Because my life is a much better place with the people in it now. I would never get involved with the baggage again. So with that said... I'm going to go.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Life Couldn't Be Better :)

I feel like I have taken a breath of fresh air this month. Life has been great! Everything is going great! Mom bought the crib for Josephine, that was one of her gifts to us... the baby room is coming along great! It's nice having so much help now. I go to the doctor tomorrow for my monthly check up... 25 weeks pregnant this week! 15 weeks to go! I feel Josephine all the time now, which is an amazing feeling! Although it's neat to feel her... I look forward to having her here more. Bob and I can't wait to start our new life with her. I went out shopping last weekend and bought new stockings since ours were old and getting ragged... I bought one with an (A) on it one with a (B) on it and one with a (J) on it for Josephine next year that way they all match. :) I started Christmas shopping too! And I am going out black Friday to do the rest of my shopping!! I love black Friday! I have a definite baby belly now, Bob loves it. He's always putting his hand on my belly to feel Josephine! It's nice having a husband that is so involved in this amazing journey. He's attended ALL my doctor's appointments and we signed up for birthing classes yesterday, so we'll do that together too! We also got a new dining room set!! I love it... we got rid of our old one since it was so old and falling apart. My last day will be Feb. 26th at work then I will be on maternity leave... not that far way!! Well I have to go... I'm going to go finish my book! Then off to the book store to buy myself a new one. I love reading.