Toxic Friends: Less Friend, More Foe

They put you down and expect you to pick them up, or drain the life right out of you for their own gain. With toxic friends like these, who needs enemies?

Toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding, and don't give anything back. While a toxic friend doesn't have to lay claim to all of these charming characteristics, they do seem to bring on their nasty behavior on a consistent basis, as opposed to those of us who just have a bad day once in a while and take it out on some of the people we care about the most. I would say it's someone who, after spending time with them, makes you feel bad about yourself instead of good; someone who tends to be critical of you -- sometimes in a subtle way and sometimes not so subtle; a friend who drains you emotionally, financially, or mentally, and they're not very good for you.

You cross the line from helping a friend in need to helping a friend who is always needy when that friend is abusive. If your friend is asking for support, that's very different from someone who constantly asks for support and is constantly mean and abusive. These signs tell you someone is less friend, more foe. And not surprisingly, it's women who are more likely to be toxic than men. So when your gal pal turns sour and stays that way, you need to start taking control of the relationship if there's any hope of saving it.

You know you have a problem with someone when your nontoxic friends start telling you, "Every time you hang out with that person, you're in a bad mood." Or the phone rings, you see it's your toxic friend, and you conveniently go to the bathroom. But despite these warning signs, you don't do anything about it. Why? Because you're trapped.

One of the characteristics of a toxic friendship is that the good friend feels she can't extricate herself from the relationship. Whether it's on the phone, in person, or from the friendship entirely, you feel like you are trapped, you're being taken advantage of and you can't resolve the problem one way or another. Whether the feeling of entrapment has to do with history -- you've been friends with the person since a young age...or you feel she has no one else to turn to and you need to stand by her through thick or thin, you need to take action to help your friend, and yourself.

1) Recognize the toxicity - The first step is to recognize that the person is toxic, or at least that the relationship is toxic. They might not be a toxic friend to others but they are to you.

2) Take responsibility - By continuing a toxic friendship, you're allowing your friend to hurt you, but you're also hurting yourself. "You have to take some degree of responsibility for the situation. It's a pleaser personality -- you want people to like you, you want to get along, and it's hard to say no. But you can pay the price in one way by having toxic friends. So even though we want to help our friends and have them rely on us in troubling times, take responsibility for toxic friendships and how they make you feel.

3) Set boundaries - Make good boundaries for yourself. Start taking better care of yourself and make your own self-care more important than pleasing the toxic friend. Say no when she asks you for something that you don't want to give, and call her out when she is mean or critical to you.

4) Talk to your nontoxic friends - Talk to other people who may not have a vested interest in your toxic friendship. People who can give you an objective opinion regarding whether the friendship is salvageable and whether you can manage the toxic friend to neutralize the toxicity, or if you need to end the relationship.

5) Suggest professional help - A toxic friend might need professional help at some point to help her get her career, emotions, or family back on track. How do you approach such a touchy subject? If you point out to your friend how she is treating you and ask her to stop, and she continues to do it, you need to take it to the next level, Say to her, 'I know you are a good person, but maybe you want to seek help.' But keep in mind that if it has gone to that level, and a friendship is that toxic, it's going to be destroyed at some point anyway. Better you make an effort to help your friend address her issues.

6) End the friendship - It's difficult to end a friendship. Breaking up with anyone, whether it's a spouse, love relationship, or a friend, is not fun. It's even more important in this kind of context. In contrast to a love relationship in which you recognize you aren't compatible, this type of relationships is hurting you. It's bad enough when a person has to deal with a toxic friend firsthand but when the toxicity is impacting not you personally, but someone you love, like a spouse or a friend, it can be even harder. How do you handle it? As much as you want to jump in and help, sometimes patience is key.

Work Cited: By Heather Hatfield WebMD Feature

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends and Family...

It's been a week and one day since we lost our angel, why does it seem as if time is crawling by? I have been getting myself out of the house and doing things with my daughter and friends in hopes of distracting myself and for the most part I do but there is always the part of me that can't seem to not think of what happened. A part of me feels so broken and looking for answers. My heart is always aching, my mind is always wondering "what if."

But thank goodness for my friends, they have truly been amazing. They have been taking turns checking on me, been taking me out to dinner or out on day trips, been leaving me messages and been a wonderful support system and I don't know what I would do without all of them. You truly find out who your true friends are when something awful happens in your life and when you feel like you can't go on. And because of them I have been able to find strength that I didn't know that I had. They have allowed me to cry, to talk, to get angry and to feel down right awful when I needed to and they have understood and that means the most to me. It's not every day you find friends who understand but also care 110%

The other support system that I have is my husband and my family, I don't know what I would do without all of them. My husband has seen me through my darkest times, he was there to let me cry and to tell me everything was going to be okay, he was there in the days that followed and understood that I just needed some time to myself. He was there during the nights that I fell apart and told me it was okay to fall apart and okay to not put on a brave face all the time. He has been so supportive and I feel so lucky to have such an amazing husband.

My mom and my family have also been a big support system and have truly showed me the power of family when you are going through a rough time in life. They all have let me know that I am not alone in this and that if I am hurting so are all of them. They have been there to listen to me, to encourage me and to make sure that I was healthy after my miscarriage. Each and every one of them have opened their heart up to me and have allowed me to grieve and have been there and I am so thankful for that.

Speaking of friends my friend Erika is taking me and my daughter out for the day to get me out of the house so I have to be going, talk again later.

-Amy

It's Only Been A Week...

On Friday I went to the doctor... laid on the very same table that I got my first glance of our baby a few days prior and this time they were making sure our baby was gone. I laid on the table with tears streaming down my face... It didn't seem fair at all and all I wanted to do was run screaming in the other direction. But they said that there was no damage done to my uterus and that we can start trying for another baby right after my next period cycle. We are anxious to try again... but now a part of me is terrified of going through this again. I think I will be scared till I deliver a healthy baby and once we do we are done having kids, 2 is plenty for us.

It has now been a full week since we lost our baby... it seems like it's been months... time is dragging on so slowly and waiting a month to try again seems so far away right now. I have made it through a couple days now without crying but I have been on the verge a couple times now... I just want to feel better more than anything. I truly feel like I am just going through the motions of life and trying to do normal things but I often feel like I have to force myself into doing normal things. But leaning on my friends who have been there has been a good thing and they have been so supportive as I have been going through this.

It amazes me how many people don't acknowledge their miscarriage or anyone else's. For so long talking about having a miscarriage was almost unspeakable. But now a days it's so important to speak out and make the world aware that they are not alone in this. If I learned anything since having my miscarriage it's that so many people I am friends with have gone though this, and that is something I didn't know about most of them. It's almost like unspeakable pain but I am a person who needs to talk about things and to get those feelings out and I wont stay quiet. And no matter when you lost your baby... 5 weeks, 6, weeks, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, 40 weeks... you still lost your baby and that baby and pregnancy deserves to be acknowledged. I have no respect for anyone who pretty much makes you feel badly for grieving and tells you it wasn't a baby because you were early on. I mean, how heartless is that statement and how wrong! I have cut my ties from people who have been rude like that to me. Why should I put my feelings out there to them when they don't truly care?

I found this video that I found really comforting http://pinterest.com/pin/27021666484554780/

Well, I've gotta run... talk again later

-Amy

The Last Step To This Nightmare...

Today I go to the doctors and get my uterus checked and everything else checked to make sure I am okay and that inside my body is okay from my miscarriage. I am having some serious anxiety about going into that office. I am tired of re-living this nightmare over and over and over again. I know they have to do this stuff to be sure everything is okay with me but it doesn't make the healing process any easier.

In under a week this is the office where excited doctors and nurses confirmed I was pregnant and were so excited... And then it's the office where my heart shattered on the floor and my world came to a screeching halt. Where my life changed forever... I am having some serious anxiety about going today but I have to and I know that...

At least after this appointment I will know when we can try for a baby again... although now I am terrified that this could happen again and I don't think I will enjoy my next pregnancy as much as I did with my daughter because I will be worried the whole time. But I do hope to have a healthy and normal pregnancy soon.

Well, I have to go get ready for my appointment... anyone want to go for me?

-Amy

Numb...

Today I feel numb... I don't know if that is a good thing or not but I feel totally numb. I want to cry but I can't... I want to be happy but I can't. I want to feel better but I can't. Today is father's day... a day that I truly hate, it's a day to remember my dad who passed away not making my sadness any better. But why do I feel sad about not being able to celebrate fathers day with my dad yet I can't cry?

The times I cry have been when I am along with my thoughts... during the day I feel like I am going through the motions of life yet I am not truly involved in it. I have switched gears from sad all the time to angry over what happened. I know this is all part of the healing process...

I go tomorrow to the doctor for the final step of this nightmare. At least tomorrow I will know when we can start trying again. I just want to get pregnant again... am I fearful that this will happen again, of course! But I know we are meant to have more kids and we will. I know June 12th will forever be etched in my memory... I know once I get pregnant again that this sadness will fade but I will never forget the baby that I lost. I will always wonder if it was a girl or boy, who he or she would have become, what he or she would have looked like... but I know I will find healing and peace once we get pregnant again. I just want to feel better and I want to be happy again.

I find it very difficult to be around pregnant people and babies right now. was at the mall yesterday and a pregnant women came walking past be toward the end of her pregnancy and I wanted to cry. I quickly darted the other way. I avoided the maternity section of the store that I loved browsing and I avoided the baby section as well... I felt like I was acting crazy but I just can't right now.

The sun is shining today and I feel like a dark cloud is over my head following me around... I hate this feeling. I hate that I feel numb today...

A Night Out...

Mom took me out for the afternoon... we took Josephine to ballet and then went to North Kingstown to get my daughters riding gear for horse camp that she starts this week and then we went over to the Providence Place Mall where we shopped and had some pink Berry. Then this evening I threw myself back into work and went out and did a photo shoot which totally distracted me from my life which I needed. Getting totally lost in my camera and the art of what I love is what I needed tonight.

My friend Erika took me out tonight for dinner at one of our favorite Mexican food places to eat. There was 5 of us and we ended up ordering 3 pitchers of margaritas and yes I may feel good but honestly I needed a night to let loose and to forget about what is going on in my life. No, booze is not the answer but honestly I just needed a night to let lose and to lose control of my sad feelings. I needed a night to get lost in who I was before this all happened and just laugh and smile, it felt nice to just let go, I needed to let go and just worry about the moment and not what is going on. Sometimes we just need a night to forget and to let go even for a short time...

I am hurting... and just needed to forget for a short time, cant hold that against me... I just want to feel better. ::sigh::

Another day...

I've been told that only time will heal what happened... how much time? I may not have been that far along but that baby was a part of me and my husband and that will never change. I am so sad and I don't know what to do with myself... To go from being pregnant and the baby was fine at the beginning of the week to not being pregnant and I miscarried half way through the week is a lot to handle. We were so excited to be welcoming our second child, it just doesn't seem fair.

I am quickly going from distraught to angry with God for this happening. I mean, we all need someone to blame. I can't even step foot in church this Sunday, I know if I do I will get fall to pieces. I don't think I can handle the sad faces and the "I'm sorry's"... I know I can't handle that at all. This wasn't supposed to happen, why? I am terrified of this happening again once we start trying again. I am so scared of feeling pain like this again. I feel so helpless and so empty, all I want to do is cry. I just feel so broken and my heart is in pieces on the floor.

I have to go to the doctor today for more blood work... I don't want to go, being there hurts right now. I don't want to keep re-living this nightmare!! I go back next week too, to check my uterus and ovaries to make sure I am okay after everything happened... How do you sit in the waiting room with all these happy pregnant women without losing it? And then going into the exam room and hearing "I'm sorry" from the nurses and doctors... I don't know how I am going to deal with that. why!!?? why did this happen!!!???

I want more than anything to get pregnant again... but I am scared. I keep re-living the day I found out I miscarried over and over in my head. I can't erase that awful memory from my memory. That was the longest day of my life... it felt like life was moving in slow motion. I still do... I don't feel like me and I don't know what to do...

I just want to feel like me again... but a piece of me is missing now...

Online Support Group...

Today I joined an online support group called "Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss" it's been helpful to talk to people who are going through what I am right now and have. I don't know what else to do with myself, I feel so broken and so sad all of the time. I went food shopping today and people would smile at me just passing by and I would smile back but it felt so forced. I found myself wandering up and down the isles of food in a complete fog. I thought getting out of the house would be good... but honestly I felt like I was a zombie or something... I felt like I was outside looking in on the world watching everyone else living their lives yet there I was wanting to scream and yell and cry. I made it through food shopping in one piece... until I got back into the car to drive home. I lost it and started crying again. It's the times that I am sitting in silence with my thoughts and feel the aching in my heart that breaks me down.

I got home and put all the food away and wanted more than anything to just lay down and curl up under my blanket and hide from the world but I couldn't and I knew that. Because of my three year old daughter I knew I had to keep pushing myself to be okay for her the best that I could. I ended up going down stairs and spending some time with my sister in law and nephew... I thought that is what would help but it didn't, I felt strange feeling uncomfortable around someone who I see and spend time with all the time but feeling like I am I just wanted to be alone with my daughter just me and her. We ended up staying till after dinner and then coming back home. I gave my daughter and bath and hubby put her to bed... hubby thinks getting back into my routines will help me to get out of this funk. I know he is worried about me right now and everything that I am going through and I know he is hurting too and is trying to stay strong for me. We are both heart broken and I am so thankful for my husband and how he has been here 110% through all of this. He has been my shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen and understand and I couldn't thank him enough for being such an amazing husband. He is truly my rock and has been there through most the hard times in my life and that means the world to me.

I know in a month we can try again for another baby, and am I scared to feel this much pain again, yes but that wont stop us from trying for another baby, we are meant to expand out family and we will. Our families and friends have been so supportive through all of this. And as much as I wasn't taking many phone calls yesterday when everything happened I hope that each and every one of them know how much it means to us that they were all there for us when we needed it the most.

But right now... I just feel broken and empty and sad. As I sit here I am wiping tears from my eyes. I pray that this feeling with subside and I'll be able to smile and mean it again soon but until then I hope the ones I love understand why I may not want to do things or talk. This is my outlet and this is where I release my thoughts, often I am a closed book and I couldn't put half of what I am feeling into words but I am trying my best to put my thoughts here in black and white.

I think I am going to head to bed early and get some rest, I slept awful last night. My body actually hurts and aches due to the stress I have been under. I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep... it seems that sleeping is the only time I don't have to feel this sadness and ache in my heart. Please say a prayer that this pain will subside soon...

-Amy

In heaven we'll meet again...

so after bleeding and doctors appointments I found out this afternoon that my hormone level dropped from a 385 to 104 and my level should have been at least at a 770 so they think that I am miscarrying this baby...

they think because I got the IUD out April 16th and was pregnant by may 1st that the lining of my uterus was just not sticky enough to hold a baby so when it grew it tore off because the IUD thins the lining of your uterus to avoid pregnancy. so they said a month after a period it will be back to normal...

Hearing the doctors say "you've lost the baby" like you've lost your keys was the strangest thing to me... I was hearing the words but not believing a word of it. It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest at that very moment... I fell apart sobbing. I kept saying that I did everything right how could this have happened... and there was nothing the doctor could have said that would have made anything better or different but at that moment I needed some sort of answer... I am not sure what I was hoping to hear but I needed something.

I go back tomorrow for more blood work... to have to keep re-living this nightmare seems like slow torture and I am having anxiety just thinking about going there tomorrow. I don't even know what to do with myself I can't stop crying... I went to bed early last night and woke up and as soon as I opened my eyes I started sobbing again. A part of me wanted to wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream that it wasn't real but the reality hit me like a brick wall this morning. I crept out of bed at 5am when the house was dark and quiet and sat on the couch crying. I feel like a part of me has been taken away and to have no control over it is the worst part. There was nothing I could have possibly done to save our baby and that is the worst part. As a mother you always have that control of having some sort of control and what that control is taken away it's an awful feeling.

I think today I am going to go food shopping with my daughter and bringing a three year old to the market is often stressful but I need that time with her to quiet my mind for a bit and to keep busy. I think keeping busy is going to be the only way to pull through this. I don't know what else to do honestly... I am hurting... I feel depressed... I feel defeated and I feel broken. How am I ever going to move forward completely? I am not sure...

I was online this morning and found this tattoo that I think I am going to get in memory of the baby we just lost. This baby will always be a part of me and my husband and I will never forget our little angel that was taken too soon.

Pregnancy Stress...

The miracle of pregnancy is a beautiful thing... but the stress that comes with it is awful. Every little ache and pain you worry about... you often wonder if you should call your OBGYN or not or if you just acting crazy paranoid and should just go lay down.

The internet is an awful place for a paranoid mama, you read all these horror stories and before you know it you have your mind believing that what is going on is so much worse than it is. So a word to the wise to all you mama's out there call your OBGYN before you go surfing the web to find that that you are now beyond paranoid and instead you have graduated to complete psycho of paranoia, it truly only takes seconds for that to happen... just long enough to type in whatever pain you are feeling.

being pregnant is a daunting task and you sit and wonder for 9 (really 10) long months if your baby is okay. Not only that but then there is the remembering to take the prenatal vitamin, eating right,not eating too much carbs, keeping your sugar low, keeping your stress down <--- and that one is the best one! Yeah right!

Well this mama needs to go put her feet up before she has to run out to pick up her munchkin at pre-school so I will talk again later.

-Amy

5 Weeks Along!

So after my appointments today they doctor pin pointed my pregnancy as 5 weeks along so they guesstimated a little high but with an ultra sound and internal exam they were able to figure it out today. Baby is doing alright and so is mama, just gotta take it easy to get through this first trimester and then I will be less stressed, that's for sure!!

So far I am just really tired and my back hurts a bit but I am able to do normal activities. Morning sickness comes and goes but it hasn't been too awful. Being pregnant this second time it different considering I can't just relax whenever I need to or want to with a toddler running around. But I am managing the best I can, I am starting to make her help me with things around the house since she will need to do more of that once the baby is here.

I have given up soda completely and have been only drinking mostly water and lemonaid on occasion to keep my super down since the last time I was pregnant I had diabetes while pregnant so I am just trying to keep my sugar down so that *hopefully* I don't have to deal with that again. But if I do deal with that again it wasn't awful just diet changes which I have already put into place just in case and having to test my blood sugar throughout the day.

I went and bought glucose tablets while I was away on our weekend getaway because yet again I got really dizzy on Saturday night and felt like I was going to pass out and my husband gave me lemonaid to drink that I had and I instantly felt better so I know like last time I was pregnant I have an issue with my blood sugar dropping suddenly and so I am keeping glucose tablets in my purse from now on just in case.

well this mama was told to rest so I am going to go do that I will update as much as possible!

-Amy

Hello Bathroom...We Meet Again!

I went to the laundry mat last night with mom to do laundry and I was only there for 2 hours and used the bathroom 9 times! 9 times! I couldn't go more than 20 minutes without having to run back in and so it begins. My husband and I are leaving for Connecticut this evening for a weekend away to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary. It takes one hour and 15 minutes to get there and I have a feeling we are going to have to make many stops along the way and its going to take us at least 2 hours LOL if my urges were like last night. oye!

I can feel my body changing now which is really cool. Yes, I get achy and sore and tired easy but I wouldn't trade this with the world. I truly love being pregnant and I am sad knowing that this will be my last pregnancy since hubby and I have decided on only 2 kids. But we are not going to do anything permanent just in case so I am just getting the IUD again after this baby is born.

Morning sickness has been tough but I am managing. I am finding eating smaller portions or healthier foods has helped and sucking on hard candies has been wonderful and seems to get rid of that sick feeling I get. The last time I was pregnant I had morning sickness for the first 3 months so hopefully this will taper off sooner than later so that I can enjoy my pregnancy.

I am looking forward to getting away for the weekend, it's much needed and will be nice to have time with just hubby and I, we haven't taken a trip just him and I since before our first child was born and that was over 3 years ago. It's crazy how fast time flies... Almost 7 years ago I was getting ready for my wedding and now we are only 3 years away from our 10 year anniversary vow renewal, which we are excited about!

Well, I have packing to finish for the weekend and homework to do and cleaning to finish up on so I am going to run, I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

-Amy

Morning Sickness...

Morning sickness has been pretty rough but some days are better than others. Yesterday I felt pretty good most the day until the evening but today I don't feel good. I have found sucking on hard candy has helped to curb that sick feeling. It's a strange feeling at the beginning of your pregnancy, you have this little pouch that forms a little lower than your belly button that feels heavy and strange (it's where the baby is) so you start to feel the weight of the sack and the fluid filling it and the placenta weight as well. It's just a strange feeling at first but it's the first sign of baby and it pushes out your stomach a bit giving your first little baby bump!

Here is my first belly photo!!



It's funny when your pregnant because once you set your mind to a particular food that you want, you wont accept anything else. Like last night I just had to have chips and salsa which is funny because I craved nothing but Mexican food for my first pregnancy so I wonder if it will be the same???

Things going on with me so far... limp hair, sore chest, heaviness in lower abdomen, lower back pain, pale, tired all the time and frequent trips to the bathroom.

Pregnant With Baby #2!

On May 30th 2013 I found out I was expecting baby #2! We started trying for baby #2 on April 16th and my doc thinks I got pregnant either right after I got my IUD out or the beginning of May!! I go June 25th for my 1st prenatal appointment and I couldn't be more excited! I am so over the moon happy that we conceived so quickly! I went to the doctor to do blood work to confirm the results the very same day my at home pregnancy test said positive and 30 minutes later the doctor called and said "Congrats! Your having a baby!" I was so happy when the test came back positive at home but when I heard those words "Congrats! Your having a baby!" It became so real and I was so overjoyed that I started crying as I was sitting on the beach with my daughter.

This second pregnancy has already started to be different from the first... I am sick sooner, I have a small bump sooner, and my clothes are not fitting sooner. They say that your 2nd pregnancy is much different than your first and that you typically show a month sooner than your first pregnancy. I showed at 12 weeks with my first child and we are approaching the 2nd month mark and I have a tiny defined bump that my husband noticed before I did the other day. My doctor said I am 4 to 7 weeks along and I will know exactly how far along I am once I go to my first prenatal appointment June 25th

I am looking forward to knowing if we are having a boy or a girl this time around but I will be happy either way with a happy, healthy baby! And we have already picked a zoo theme for the nursery!!

Motherhood...

Hi! It's been about three months since I came on here... I decided to take a break from this for multiple reasons, but I'm going to do a quick update now. Josephine was born on March 23rd @ 6:54pm she weighed in at 8lbs 7oz. Josephine is almost two months old now and she is a wonderful baby! She is sleeping 4 to 6 hours at a time right now... eating 5 oz. of formula and barely cries or fusses. She has started to coo and do baby talk which is so cute! She has also been rolling on her side attempting to roll over, she gets so proud of herself when she rolls on her side. She has the most beautiful and cutest smile that melts my heart every time And She is holding up her head for the most part now.

We go on family walks every single day since Josephine was born, it's great for her to get fresh air and good for us to get out of the house! We're not some of those crazy people who wont go out of the house for three months. There is no reason to do something dumb like that. Her doctor says it's better to get her out and into main stream where germs are so she can build an immune system, she said babies that go nowhere have a lot more trouble fighting germs and so... if it's bad weather we head to a mall, which we have been to all of them in the area lol but on the nice days we go to the park, the zoo, my moms neighborhood,battleship cove, etc. Josephine loves going on walks in her stroller! And it's a great work out :) I have now lost 30 lbs in 7 weeks! Which is awesome! I feel so much better. And I couldn't be happier!

I just celebrated my very first mothers day, I had the very best day that I will never forget. I have my beautiful daughter, my mom and my husband to thank for that, Bob and Josephine got me a mothers necklace with Josephine's birth stone in it and mom made me a mold of Josephine's feet to hang on the wall. I love being a mom and I couldn't ask for anything more. Bob and I are already talking about having another in a couple of years. We love being parents. I have fallen in love with Bob all over again watching him be a father to our daughter. He is so great with her, and can't get enough of her. There are many nights that I sit and watch her sleep...I just love her so much.

At the moment Bob and I are planning Josephine's baptism in June! Mom is making Josephine's baptism dress out of the left over satin from my wedding dress, which I think is really special. She is also being Baptized in the same church Bob and I were married in, which again is special to us.

I have learned the art of finding sales on children's clothes... and have been buying clothes from 6 to 9 months to 18 months right now... I have a tote full of clothes for her to grow into. She has plenty of clothes from newborn to 3 to 6 months from my baby shower... 3 to 6 months she actually has so many clothes that I can't fit any more on bottom bar in her closet lol. the top bar is newborn to zero to three months sized clothes.

We are also going on our first family vacation in July! Which we are all looking forward to! I'll be packing Josephine's two cute swimsuits for that vacation!! :D It's awesome that I have six months off from work to spend with Josephine and Bob, I'm so thankful for the time I have with both of them.

Life as a mom has been a very easy transition! I love every single moment of motherhood. I am happy that I have filled my life with people that love Josephine, Bob and I and gotten rid of "toxic people" who try to bring us down. Life has been so peaceful and happy now because of that.

It's funny... once you become a parent, you totally forget about what you life was before... I would never want to go back to my life before Josephine... because she has made it so much brighter. I love my family. :)

Well, peanut is waking up... so I've gotta run. Talk again later.

-Amy

Josephine is on her way.... ANY DAY NOW! :)

Went to the doctor today... Josephine is totally in position to be born. My doctor was able to feel her head during the internal. :) The stress test was great! And The ultrasound showed a healthy, happy baby girl ready to be born.

My doctor said she would be surprised if I made it to my March due date. That Josephine is extremely low and head down and in the right position!!! My doctor made sure I knew when to call, and whatnot. She asked if I packed my bag for the hospital... which YES I packed my bag... it's already in the car and YES the car seat in installed in the car as well... waiting for Josephine.

I'm so excited! So anxious! I can't wait to meet my baby girl... my little miracle that I have waited for, for so long. I have 5 work days left (If I make it) My doctor told me just to be prepared and to listen to my body... that I would know when it's happening.

I'm a bit nervious about labor, but like anything else you have never done before it's normal to be nervious... but totally anxious to meet my daughter. No matter what I go through, Josephine is well worth it.

I can't wait!

Josephine... We're all waiting to meet you. :)

Waiting for baby...and some advise, etc. that makes you just roll your eyes lol Everyone has an opinion... doesn't mean you have to take it lol

It's crazy how these past several months have been a whirlwind of events for us. And now, as we embark on new changes, new routines, and new beginnings, we are also set to begin the rest of our life together as a family of three.

I am not alone. In my tummy, curled up and waiting for a moment to unfurl and press the exit button, is a baby. If being pregnant is a group affair that invites comment and anecdote, being nine months pregnant is a catalyst for other people’s panic. People want to know, need to know, exactly when the baby will arrive, perhaps in case you have it on “their watch”.

People will think that because they, too, were pregnant, once, they can tell you what happened to them. This is charitable and generous, but no matter what your labour was like, never think it will be the same for someone else. It's not a good idea to use words such as "It was so painful I thought death would be a release" or "I felt like someone was going at me with a machete" to a pregnant woman. Neither is it helpful to share the fact that you have had dreams that the expectant mother dies in labour, as my Neapolitan relatives are wont to do with me, delivering the news in stage whispers, or stuffing fists into their mouths as I enter the room, in some sort of pretence at trying to keep this "vision" to themselves. If I die, I'm taking you with me.

But when you get to eight or nine months, all of this goes on to a whole new level. Everyone thinks they are the first person to tell you - nay, that you will be covered in gratitude that they have told you - that you are huge and they think you're having twins.

Few things can be as frustrating for a pregnant mom than waiting for a baby who is almost due or trying to stay occupied in those last few weeks and days before baby arrives. As the Big Day approaches, I find myself becoming anxious and even with a full work schedule, I still get antsy wondering when she will make her grand appearance.

But as we all know, the more time your baby has to "cook" before being born, the healthier he or she will typically be and nature has a way of doing it's thing when the time comes so anxious mommies have to be patient. Besides, your doctor won't let you stay pregnant forever, right? lol

So ya... I'm just so anxious... and waiting and waiting. 8 work days left till 6 months off with baby and hubby :)

Josephine... We're all waiting to meet you

5 1/2 weeks to go!!

Although I cannot see you,

I still know your are there.

You are warm and snug inside me,

and require gentle care.



Although I cannot hold you,

or give you a hug goodnight.

I feel you move inside me

and know that you are alright.



Although I cannot kiss you,

or show you how I feel.

I know you share my feelings

and that our bond is real.



you are with me all the time

and always on my mind.

Already I have fallen in love

with my precious gift from up above.



I can't believe I only have 5 1/2 weeks till my due date! Bob and I are so excited. Everything is sitting and waiting for Josephine to get here. Her bedroom is done, her car seat is installed in the car, my hospital bag is packed and waiting, mom bought Josephine's dress to come home in (it's adorable, with a pink sweater to go over it.) The excitement the fills the air is awesome, and family and friends are waiting for the much anticipated phone call of Josephine's birth :) I have 9 work days left... then I am on maternity leave for 6 months!

My weekly doctor & ultrasound appointments show that Josephine is doing great! Her heart beat is strong and everything has been awesome with this pregnancy...just as I thought it would. I think the waiting at this point is the worst part. So we'll see when Josephine decides to join us.

Well, today... I am buying my car 4 new tires today. Which will be good. I wanted to put new tires on my car before Josephine is born. So I gotta get going...talk again later.

7 1/2 weeks left!

It's been almost 2 months since I was on here last... I just have been so busy with my life that coming on here to write wasn't priority, I had so many other things to do. Well, I am now 7 1/2 weeks away from my due date. This pregnancy went by so quickly! Baby Josephine is doing so well. She's a strong little girl...and my doctor thinks she might come early to meet the world. :)

We are finishing Josephine's room this weekend! It's just hanging things up now, and situating furniture. I spent off of last Saturday washing all of Josephine's clothes up to six months. Now, they are put away and hung up in her closet. Bob and I are so anxious to meet her. We are also putting the car seat into the car this weekend and I'm going to finish packing my hospital bag this weekend too and leaving it in my car for when it's time to go to the hospital. It's just finishing up loose ends now.

Last weekend Bob built the stroller, the swing, the bouncer, the high chair, changing table, crib, and all the other baby stuff that was around to build. So now, everything is in it's place and waiting for Josephine! :)

My baby shower was a few weeks ago...and it was SO much fun! Everyone I loved and cared about was there with the exception of a couple friends who came down with the flu. But I got to see them after. I got SO many wonderful gifts... and got everything that I needed and/or wanted. With all the stuff I got the nursery is looking adorable I can't wait to finish it this weekend. My best friend is coming over this week to help me with odds and ends for baby and to hang out. My friends have been so supportive and have been there for me through all of this, they are the most amazing people I know and I love them all dearly for it.

I only have 4 1/2 weeks until I go on maternity leave...I finished my class's progress reports early and got them out to the parents so they were done and I didn't have to worry about them. I only have 22 work days left for this year... then 6 months off with baby Josephine & Bob. I can't wait to meet her and can't wait to get to know her. I love my little angel.

Bob & Me and Mom and Bob have already been planning the first family vacation for this summer! It'll be a good time. And it will be fun to get away together.

Well... I am home sick today with a virus, my doctor wanted me to stay home and rest and not go to work, so here I am. I'm going to go back and lay down. Talk again later my friend...

Till next time...

Busy... Busy... Busy!

It has been a busy week! I have been Christmas shopping (which I got Bob a totally awesome Christmas gift he has wanted for awhile, and I was able to get it for him from putting back enough cash!!) He never ask's for anything, so I splurged this year on him. He's been so awesome with picking up chores since I've been pregnant, and taking such good care of me when I needed it. It's the least I can do! I can't wait to see his face when he opens it :) Like most families we exchange gifts with everyone, and so I have been busy busy picking up the last few gifts. I love the holiday's!

Bob and I also hung out with Jared and his girl friend this past week for a few hours. Which was nice. I also had a girls night with Katie this past week too, which was a lot of fun!

Bob and I also worked on the baby room, and put up the boarder! Which turned out awesome! I love it! I also have been going through some gifts that family and friends have given us already... just separating sizes of the clothes and whatnot. Bob and I also bought a book shelf for Josephine's room for all the books she already has! Being a teacher... I already bought her a lot of books. :)

Mom is planning my baby shower with the help of close friends and family. I know it's going to be a fun time and I can't wait! I'm just so anxious to have my little Josephine here with us! Although this pregnancy has seemed to go by pretty fast. My doctor seems to believes that my little bundle of joy isn't going to wait till my due date, only time will tell.

Well, break is over... I have to get back to cleaning the house. I have been getting rid of lots of stuff, just clutter that has been around for to long. Bob brought down 3 bags of trash that was mostly things I threw away, things we don't need and/or want anymore. I've been decluttering my life which has been great! And I couldn't be happier

gotta run! got to finish up the house, then finish my school work! :)